What Would Senpai Do: Anger Management

Dear Senpai,
I feel that as a karate student you should be able to remain calm(er) in difficult situations.  Yet every time I’m at work that goes out the window, and once I leave the office I become ‘me’ again.  I’ve read about other martial artists who have had this problem but with different triggers, thus I’m asking:  how do you deal with this?
I just received an email from a co-worker that used language that, while I’m sure they think is “normal” in our industry to use, and they may even see it as a tool to get things done faster, outside of this office would be totally unacceptable.  I am fighting the urge to become very angry and am trying to find the best means of handling this where I can still feel good about myself at the end of the day.
Senpai, how do you stay calm when your first instinct is anger and frustration?  How do you find the line between being peaceful and strong vs. too timid and taken advantage of?
 
Sincerely,
-Alisa

 

http://www.etobicokekarate.com

 

 

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Not another karate post: Chi and teen bullying

It has been three days since I first started heavily researching teen bullying and teen suicides as a consequence thereof.  I’ve felt so sick over it for the past few days that I had to write it down and put it out there for fear that keeping it in might swallow me whole.  It’s a karate blog, yes, but I see the way we threat others and the energy we put out and take in from others as a part of karate, and a part of life.  This is my disclosure that this is not a typical karate post so read on if you choose to.

I have been in many crowds where you could feel the energy in the air as if it was tangible.  Positivity, unity, humanity.  This is the kind of energy I think is always around me and it drives me to be better and do what I can to help others.  I have always felt that “we’re all in this together” and when I think of bullying, child abuse, or any kind of abuse really, I’ve always concentrated on the victim and ways I could educate myself to have enough power to help these people.  I decided pursuing law was the best way to get me to that place and as I get closer to actually starting law school I feel like I’m that much closer to helping them.  All of these are my positive thoughts, however a few days ago when I was researching teen bullying I think it was the first time I had chosen to really focus on the bullies themselves.

I have never been so disgusted in my life.

My belief that everyone has some good in them, and us “being in this together”, was shattered as I read comments that people made about a teenage girl who took her life because she could not stand to be bullied any longer.  This girl lost her life over this.  She will never be a parent, or a sister, she will never grow up and see that there’s another side to this life.  She’s gone, forever, that’s it.  For someone to say that they are happy about that… I just don’t know what you could ever do to fix someone like that.  I was left with the thought, “you could fight to help one person at a time, but this will just keep occurring and reoccurring, maybe even at the hands of the same perpetrator”.  This feeling of helplessness was so overwhelming the sky seemed darker for the last few days, and I couldn’t find my way out of bed yesterday, just thinking about how people could blatantly hurt others this way.

Social media is a tool for marketers, that’s what I was taught in school.  Now though, I am now seeing many videos of teenagers on their last hope just looking for someone to relate to them, someone to help them, and this is where they were driven to share their message.  “I have nobody…  I need someone =(” is one of the last things she wrote in her video.  And now she, and many like her, are gone.

Maybe I’m just too sensitive.  Maybe I can only hope to accomplish what I can and have to be satisfied with that.  But if I really believe that there is an electric energy just coursing over us, and that we can affect other people’s energy, then these people out there, who would put a Clorox bottle as their profile picture to make fun of someone who committed suicide by drinking bleach, can influence people just the same as you and I can.  I could not help but feel like I was fighting a useless battle, because a dozen negative voice against you are always louder than hundreds who are telling you to live.

Please just live.  I don’t know you but I know there are many others out there who are just as sensitive to what you’re going through as I am.

Live.  

We’re coming.

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Controlled Falling aka ‘Walking’

In November 2011 I went to a seminar taught by Sensei Mark Loucks in New York.  One thing he said during the seminar is something that I think of every day and that is that ‘what most people do is not walking, it’s merely controlled falling’.  I really had to stop and think about that… controlled falling.  He said that instead of moving forward with our balance centered and strong we shift our weight and just let ourselves ‘fall’ into the next step.  Some, if you watch closely, may have periods of time when both feet are off the floor rather than keeping at least some of their weight grounded.  I believe that walking is something you learn to do and never really stop to think about it again; you just wash, rinse, and repeat the habits you are naturally inclined to do.  For someone who instinctively holds their breath while working out and doesn’t always stand straight, walking in some stances and performing katas require extra mindfulness.  I knew at that moment that I probably walk incorrectly as well.  Great!

My walk into work has a slight but long incline and you have to walk through a wind tunnel to get in the building.  Every morning commuters hunch their shoulders forward, duck their heads into their chests and push through the wind.  This used to feel like the best bet to make it through to the other side.  However, at this time every single day without fail I hear Sensei Mark Loucks and I have to stop myself and remember that this is not the strongest posture.  Relaxing my shoulders back, standing straight, keeping my center of gravity low and pushing through thinking of pushing a steadfast horizontal bo forward with my tanden, I feel stronger and am using my muscles and mental force rather than just my weight.  This has helped my Sanchin and all my dachi, in karate and in everyday life, tenfold.

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Ways to Practice your Kata

I just rode my bike 19.55km and I’m feeling pumped!  I found a nice spot by the lake to read my book and the sun was just blazing (26*).  Thought I’d do a quick post on some of the notes we took down last night in class with a few additions at the end.

Some ways to practice your kata that were mentioned last night:

  1. Just do the kata
  2. Mirror image of the kata (I’ve never thought of this one, I’m excited to try it where you perform the kata as it would appear in the mirror)
  3. Do it emphasizing your feet
  4. Emphasizing your hands
  5. Just do the stances and make sure they are correct and strong
  6. Do movements that run together and keep repeating just those ‘runs’
  7. Practice combos and repeat them
  8. Do the kata in reverse (another one I have never thought to try)
  9. Do it in a straight line
  10. 1-2,2-3,3-4- Do the fist and second technique together, the second and third technique together etc. to sharpen the transitions between all movements and the techniques themselves
  11. Do the most difficult parts in the kata
  12. Point/point- Stop during the kata and analyze your position to make sure everything is on point
  13. Visualize the bunkai of the kata as you do it

Some additional ways to practice your kata that Sensei has shown us over the years that I like to use when I practice on my own:

  1. Doing the kata with weapons – I don’t do this one at home but I altered is slightly and do it with weights.  Doing this I think of two things, one, getting my punches and blocks faster by doing it fast with weights and then taking them away and see how the speed has increased.  Two, thinking of how your ki extends to the end of the weights just as you with would with the weapons.
  2. Do the kata emphasizing how your arms rub against each other and your body.
  3. Practice on different terrain- practice on grass, sand, ice, a lake, hardwood floor, my driveway, washroom at work.
  4. Face a direction that throws me – I am directionally challenged (yes, I made up a word).  I like to start my katas facing a certain direction that feels ‘flat’ to me (be it a wall or the ocean but it has to be one long visual with no breaks).  To start it facing a corner throws me off and those challenges are the best ones.
  5. Kiai on every technique – one of my favorites when I need to put more kime into my kata.  There is always that a move that I find I neglect and when I kiai on each one it forces me not to have preferences.
  6. Do push-ups and lift weights to exhaust your arms beforehand.
  7. Lastly, as a test when I think I know a kata I try to do it from a random part within the kata.  Do I know which foot is in front?  Am I positive?
A few more ways suggested through comments:
  1. Blindfolded/eyes closed (an addition to the list by Sensei Peter)
  2. Do seiza first until you can’t feel your legs- Another valuable lesson from Sensei Peter and I am always grateful to learn from others’ experiences.
  3. Do the kata slowly emphasizing each technique (comment from Caroline Scutt)

I am sure there are many more ways to practice your kata.  Feel free to share some ways that you practice.

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“The Pain of Regret is Far Worse than the Pain of Discipline”

 

I have finally completed a test I’ve been studying for for months and once I walked out of the room, five hours later, writing in this blogs was one of the first things I wanted to do (second to laying down in the grass).

One thing about this test was it reminded me of a grading or an important dance recital.  It was an event you markdown in your calendar in the distant future.  You practice when you want to, you practice when you don’t want to, and by the end you’re tired of hearing the same song or seeing yourself doing that kata in the mirror.  The day always seems so far away until all of a sudden you look up and it’s tomorrow!  I think I bored my boyfriend and parents to tears with my last minute anxiety the day before but just like a grading, you feel the nerves until it is show time.  Now, you just have to know that you did everything you could and that you’re ready to show you did the work.

About a year ago I saw this quote that resonated with me and I’m not sure if I’ve referenced it here before but it is always in the back of my mind so it’s worth repeating even if I have.  After reading this it’s almost as if I finally learnt how to study and it gets me moving when I think I can’t practice any more: “The pain of regret is far worse than the pain of discipline”.  I’ve felt this after a test and this is by far the worst feeling.  If after a test you can pinpoint a day that you could have gotten up and practiced but just couldn’t find the drive to do it, and you feel, had you had that extra day you may have performed better, there is no greater sense of pain.

There was no way I was going to let that happen in this test and I gave up going out, karate, my cousins wedding, my vacation hours, sleep and it was definitely not going to be for nothing.  The day of the test, for whatever reason, I feel calm.  Sitting in the cold room I feel the nerves of people around me and I tell myself “I’m not going to fall apart now”.  I know half of it is mental and it’s when you lose your composure and pacing that you fail.  We are told to start and in for quick moment I’m thinking: “wow, this is it!  You’ve done this test almost every day for the past two weeks.  Used most of your annual vacation days from work to spend your days in libraries and coffee shops across the city.  But just like a grading, it doesn’t matter how you performed then.  It doesn’t matter if you’ve done this a hundred times correctly because this is the only time that counts and if it’s not perfect now it may as well have never been perfect.”  The rest of the test is a blur.  I moved because I had practiced the movements and when you know something your body just executes it without needing much conscious thoughts.

This test is finally done and it’s time to put this passion back into karate because like Sensei has said multiple times in the past, don’t perform poorly in class or when you train and then put on an amazing performance in a tournament because you want to win.  Every class, every time you train, you should put as much effort and sweat as if it is a grading to show respect for the art and for your Sensei;  that is more important than coming first in a tournament any day!

Tonight’s kata: Seiyunchin

Book: Book of Five Rings

Pushups: 60

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You Deserve a Break

After writing my last post I went to help assist the children’s beginner classes.  There, even though I am helping, I always find I take a tidbit of information home with me as well.  What stuck with me after yesterday’s classes was the notion of ‘taking a break’.

Periodically through a class after the children have been pushed to run further and faster or to do more, Senpai may ask them to ‘breathe up’ and to ‘shake it off’.  Sensei stopped the class having seen that the kids today weren’t putting in 100% of their effort and told them that at this point, they should be feeling tired and that’s why they are given a short breather.  If they find that when they are given this breather that they don’t need it, that they aren’t sweating or their heart isn’t racing, then that should tell them to put in more effort.

On the drive home I had to stop and think about that.  If at any point in the day, if someone asked me if I could take a break, could I?  Was there something to take a break from?  I had just written a post about how I felt stressed and any time spent not studying was time I felt I had wasted, even if it was spent training.  But did I feel exhausted?  No.  Continue reading →

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