What Would Senpai Do: Anger Management

Dear Senpai,

I feel that as a karate student you should be able to remain calm(er) in difficult situations.  Yet every time I’m at work that goes out the window, and once I leave the office I become ‘me’ again.  I’ve read about other martial artists who have had this problem but with different triggers, thus I’m asking:  how do you deal with this?

I just received an email from a co-worker that used language that, while I’m sure they think is “normal” in our industry to use, and they may even see it as a tool to get things done faster, outside of this office would be totally unacceptable.  I am fighting the urge to become very angry and am trying to find the best means of handling this where I can still feel good about myself at the end of the day.

Senpai, how do you stay calm when your first instinct is anger and frustration?  How do you find the line between being peaceful and strong vs. too timid and taken advantage of?

 

Sincerely,

-Alisa

 

http://www.etobicokekarate.com

 

 

Zen in the Office – Extend Your Ki

I am at a stage in my life where I don’t have to take my work home with me.  I am able to separate my work from the rest of my life and this gives me the advantage of being able to shed the stress of my daily grind once I leave the office and move on to, to me, the more important things in my life.  However, there is a downside to separating the two.  When I’m at work and I start to feel that stress or I see someone being treated unfairly I forget about all that I am working for outside of work and I feel anger or despair that goes against my goal of a 24/7 Zen mentality.

When I am happy, as I usually am, I am outwardly happy and talkative.  Once something goes wrong I tend to keep to myself so it is apparent, though I try to hide it, when I am not myself.  Today at work I discovered something though.  I can’t recall what had happened but I was working quietly when a co-worker said something offhandedly to me about ‘finding moments within moments’.  Something about the way he said it made me turn around and give him 100% of my attention.  I asked him to explain what he meant and we and ended up in an elaborate conversation about ones ki (or chi).

In ‘Zen in the Martial Arts’ one thing I really took to heart, and read and re-read several times over the course of a year, was a lesson on extending your ki.  Joe Hyams explains that we have a certain amount of energy at any given time.  If you are working and are distracted you are not using all your energy toward your work and are therefore not performing at 100% of your capacity.