What Would Senpai Do: Anger Management

Dear Senpai,

I feel that as a karate student you should be able to remain calm(er) in difficult situations.  Yet every time I’m at work that goes out the window, and once I leave the office I become ‘me’ again.  I’ve read about other martial artists who have had this problem but with different triggers, thus I’m asking:  how do you deal with this?

I just received an email from a co-worker that used language that, while I’m sure they think is “normal” in our industry to use, and they may even see it as a tool to get things done faster, outside of this office would be totally unacceptable.  I am fighting the urge to become very angry and am trying to find the best means of handling this where I can still feel good about myself at the end of the day.

Senpai, how do you stay calm when your first instinct is anger and frustration?  How do you find the line between being peaceful and strong vs. too timid and taken advantage of?

 

Sincerely,

-Alisa

 

http://www.etobicokekarate.com

 

 

Controlled Falling aka ‘Walking’

In November 2011 I went to a seminar taught by Sensei Mark Loucks in New York.  One thing he said during the seminar is something that I think of every day and that is that ‘what most people do is not walking, it’s merely controlled falling’.  I really had to stop and think about that… controlled falling.  He said that instead of moving forward with our balance centered and strong we shift our weight and just let ourselves ‘fall’ into the next step.  Some, if you watch closely, may have periods of time when both feet are off the floor rather than keeping at least some of their weight grounded.  I believe that walking is something you learn to do and never really stop to think about it again; you just wash, rinse, and repeat the habits you are naturally inclined to do.  For someone who instinctively holds their breath while working out and doesn’t always stand straight, walking in some stances and performing katas require extra mindfulness.  I knew at that moment that I probably walk incorrectly as well.  Great!

My walk into work has a slight but long incline and you have to walk through a wind tunnel to get in the building.  Every morning commuters hunch their shoulders forward, duck their heads into their chests and push through the wind.  This used to feel like the best bet to make it through to the other side.  However, at this time every single day without fail I hear Sensei Mark Loucks and I have to stop myself and remember that this is not the strongest posture.  Relaxing my shoulders back, standing straight, keeping my center of gravity low and pushing through thinking of pushing a steadfast horizontal bo forward with my tanden, I feel stronger and am using my muscles and mental force rather than just my weight.  This has helped my Sanchin and all my dachi, in karate and in everyday life, tenfold.

Ways to Practice your Kata

I just rode my bike 19.55km and I’m feeling pumped!  I found a nice spot by the lake to read my book and the sun was just blazing (26*).  Thought I’d do a quick post on some of the notes we took down last night in class with a few additions at the end.

Some ways to practice your kata that were mentioned last night:

1. Just do the kata
2. Mirror image of the kata (I’ve never thought of this one, I’m excited to try it where you perform the kata as it would appear in the mirror)
3. Do it emphasizing your feet
4. Emphasizing your hands
5. Just do the stances and make sure they are correct and strong
6. Do movements that run together and keep repeating just those ‘runs’
7. Practice combos and repeat them
8. Do the kata in reverse (another one I have never thought to try)
9. Do it in a straight line
10. 1-2,2-3,3-4- Do the fist and second technique together, the second and third technique together etc. to sharpen the transitions between all movements and the techniques themselves
11. Do the most difficult parts in the kata
12. Point/point- Stop during the kata and analyze your position to make sure everything is on point
13. Visualize the bunkai of the kata as you do it

Some additional ways to practice your kata that Sensei has shown us over the years that I like to use when I practice on my own:

1. Doing the kata with weapons – I don’t do this one at home but I altered is slightly and do it with weights.  Doing this I think of two things, one, getting my punches and blocks faster by doing it fast with weights and then taking them away and see how the speed has increased.  Two, thinking of how your ki extends to the end of the weights just as you with would with the weapons.
2. Do the kata emphasizing how your arms rub against each other and your body.
3. Practice on different terrain- practice on grass, sand, ice, a lake, hardwood floor, my driveway, washroom at work.
4. Face a direction that throws me – I am directionally challenged (yes, I made up a word).  I like to start my katas facing a certain direction that feels ‘flat’ to me (be it a wall or the ocean but it has to be one long visual with no breaks).  To start it facing a corner throws me off and those challenges are the best ones.
5. Kiai on every technique – one of my favorites when I need to put more kime into my kata.  There is always that a move that I find I neglect and when I kiai on each one it forces me not to have preferences.
6. Do push-ups and lift weights to exhaust your arms beforehand.
7. Lastly, as a test when I think I know a kata I try to do it from a random part within the kata.  Do I know which foot is in front?  Am I positive?

A few more ways suggested through comments:

1. Blindfolded/eyes closed (an addition to the list by Sensei Peter)
2. Do seiza first until you can’t feel your legs- Another valuable lesson from Sensei Peter and I am always grateful to learn from others’ experiences.
3. Do the kata slowly emphasizing each technique (comment from Caroline Scutt)

I am sure there are many more ways to practice your kata.  Feel free to share some ways that you practice.

“The Pain of Regret is Far Worse than the Pain of Discipline”

 

I have finally completed a test I’ve been studying for for months and once I walked out of the room, five hours later, writing in this blogs was one of the first things I wanted to do (second to laying down in the grass).

One thing about this test was it reminded me of a grading or an important dance recital.  It was an event you markdown in your calendar in the distant future.  You practice when you want to, you practice when you don’t want to, and by the end you’re tired of hearing the same song or seeing yourself doing that kata in the mirror.  The day always seems so far away until all of a sudden you look up and it’s tomorrow!  I think I bored my boyfriend and parents to tears with my last minute anxiety the day before but just like a grading, you feel the nerves until it is show time.  Now, you just have to know that you did everything you could and that you’re ready to show you did the work.

About a year ago I saw this quote that resonated with me and I’m not sure if I’ve referenced it here before but it is always in the back of my mind so it’s worth repeating even if I have.  After reading this it’s almost as if I finally learnt how to study and it gets me moving when I think I can’t practice any more: “The pain of regret is far worse than the pain of discipline”.  I’ve felt this after a test and this is by far the worst feeling.  If after a test you can pinpoint a day that you could have gotten up and practiced but just couldn’t find the drive to do it, and you feel, had you had that extra day you may have performed better, there is no greater sense of pain.

There was no way I was going to let that happen in this test and I gave up going out, karate, my cousins wedding, my vacation hours, sleep and it was definitely not going to be for nothing.  The day of the test, for whatever reason, I feel calm.  Sitting in the cold room I feel the nerves of people around me and I tell myself “I’m not going to fall apart now”.  I know half of it is mental and it’s when you lose your composure and pacing that you fail.  We are told to start and in for quick moment I’m thinking: “wow, this is it!  You’ve done this test almost every day for the past two weeks.  Used most of your annual vacation days from work to spend your days in libraries and coffee shops across the city.  But just like a grading, it doesn’t matter how you performed then.  It doesn’t matter if you’ve done this a hundred times correctly because this is the only time that counts and if it’s not perfect now it may as well have never been perfect.”  The rest of the test is a blur.  I moved because I had practiced the movements and when you know something your body just executes it without needing much conscious thoughts.

This test is finally done and it’s time to put this passion back into karate because like Sensei has said multiple times in the past, don’t perform poorly in class or when you train and then put on an amazing performance in a tournament because you want to win.  Every class, every time you train, you should put as much effort and sweat as if it is a grading to show respect for the art and for your Sensei;  that is more important than coming first in a tournament any day!

Tonight’s kata: Seiyunchin

Book: Book of Five Rings

Pushups: 60

You Deserve a Break

After writing my last post I went to help assist the children’s beginner classes.  There, even though I am helping, I always find I take a tidbit of information home with me as well.  What stuck with me after yesterday’s classes was the notion of ‘taking a break’.

Periodically through a class after the children have been pushed to run further and faster or to do more, Senpai may ask them to ‘breathe up’ and to ‘shake it off’.  Sensei stopped the class having seen that the kids today weren’t putting in 100% of their effort and told them that at this point, they should be feeling tired and that’s why they are given a short breather.  If they find that when they are given this breather that they don’t need it, that they aren’t sweating or their heart isn’t racing, then that should tell them to put in more effort.

On the drive home I had to stop and think about that.  If at any point in the day, if someone asked me if I could take a break, could I?  Was there something to take a break from?  I had just written a post about how I felt stressed and any time spent not studying was time I felt I had wasted, even if it was spent training.  But did I feel exhausted?  No. 

Dojo Kun: Continue to Train with Patience and Steadiness

In all things karate there is always a deeper meaning to what is done and written.  The same can be said for dojo kuns (dojo oaths).  Just as every kata you learn, dojo kuns mean one thing to you when you first learn them, and they slowly take on a new meaning as your progress in your studies.  Your interpretations change and your understanding is greater; when you get to the heart of it you as a person are different so what you take from teachings must also be different.

From green to blue belt I was able to help with the children’s classes two times a week.  At this time I interpreted our dojo kun line ‘continue to train with patience and steadiness’ to mean ‘don’t quit, don’t lose hope’.  I saw kids get frustrated if they were not learning to kick fast enough when they needed to focus on their punches first, if they were not moving up in rank or who wanted to learn the next kata before they were ready.  In each of these cases I saw someone who didn’t understand the ‘process and not product’ way of karate (see post Process not Product).  After those experiences this line seemed necessary and I thought that was all it meant.  Now I see it means so much more.  Those children who stuck through were highly proficient in all their katas and techniques because of it rather than having had learned them sooner and be average in all of them.

Overcome Fear? Live in the Moment

It’s been a while since I’ve written a post (I’ve been too busy with my nose in books) and so much has happened since I last wrote that I feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t get it all out there and do it fast.

Before I do so, I would just like to say “thank you!” to everyone who has been following this blog and sending me supportive, and motivational comments everyday. You are all amazing and you have no idea how overwhelming it was for me to see how many of you have been following along and recommending this blog to your friends and co-workers. So thank you and I will try not to let you down.

As I said before, I have been so focused on studying that I haven’t had a chance to write lately, when I came across a chapter in my book called ‘Zen and the Art of Analytically Reasoning’ and I thought to myself, ‘no way’!  If you don’t know the history behind this blog I started it after a read a book called ‘Zen in the Martial Arts’ and was inspired to publicly jot down all that I learn about life and having a zen mentality through karate.  This chapter caught me off guard and as I started to read it it pushed me right back here because whether you are ‘busy’ or not- work, school, all these external aspects of your life are just branches of who are you.  But the roots are your dreams and secret ambitions for yourself; who you want to be and what you believe in.  Everything else is just noise and sometimes we get caught up in it, which is not a bad thing, but you always have to come back to your roots and remember what’s important.

This chapter spoke of how to live in the moment while writing tests, not to think of the last question you may have done wrong or to think about the time that is running out and how many more questions you have to go.  This paragraph was so valuable to me because I have read this before, but know now that I have not applied it to every facet of my life.

Before me I am faced with a test that I have been anticipating and am fearful of failing.  While I feel stronger and stronger physically and mentally at the gym and at karate there are major life decisions that I am up against that install so much fear that it is almost as if I must be two completely different people to be so confident yet so breakable.  Having read this chapter I am reminded of Buddhists’ belief in the ‘self’:  ‘you’ at any given moment in time are only a combination of bones and skin, and of your thoughts and feelings within this single frame in space.  ‘You’, the second right after, can have completely different opinions and sense of direction and therefore there is no stable, constant ‘self’.  

Mind Over Body ?

It is hard to watch videos of men pulling planes with their teeth and not believe that there is a certain amount of power that humans possess when they set their mind on a goal.

Recently, I was told that I may have to do 50 push-ups for a grading.  My eyes bulged out of my head!  I’ve been at it ever since and every time I get down there I fail to reach 40 let alone 50.  I told my best friend about my anxiousness and he said me that it is in my mind…  In my mind.  When he said this it brought up a battle between the mind and the body and being that this is a blog about my daily three battles I had to write it down.

Lately, I have moved away from focusing on ‘spirit’ in favor of focusing on the ‘body’ so  push-ups are completely applicable.  50 push-ups!  I give myself a good pep talk each time before I start.  I put on some good music and when I get down there I think to myself: “this is the time that you’re going to break through”.  I actually have to laugh at the whole thing after when I fail, once again.  As much as I believe that we as humans can do anything if we really, truly believe we can, every time I push myself back up for the 20^th time I feel like my arms are going to collapse on the way down for the next one.  So now I have to ask myself, is it that my body is too weak to do the  push-ups or that my mind is too weak to get me there?  How do you know when it’s your mind and when it’s your body?

I am definitely not qualified enough to know the answer to this but I’m putting it out there in case someone has an answer, and so later I can look back and answer myself.

Zen in the Office – Extend Your Ki

I am at a stage in my life where I don’t have to take my work home with me.  I am able to separate my work from the rest of my life and this gives me the advantage of being able to shed the stress of my daily grind once I leave the office and move on to, to me, the more important things in my life.  However, there is a downside to separating the two.  When I’m at work and I start to feel that stress or I see someone being treated unfairly I forget about all that I am working for outside of work and I feel anger or despair that goes against my goal of a 24/7 Zen mentality.

When I am happy, as I usually am, I am outwardly happy and talkative.  Once something goes wrong I tend to keep to myself so it is apparent, though I try to hide it, when I am not myself.  Today at work I discovered something though.  I can’t recall what had happened but I was working quietly when a co-worker said something offhandedly to me about ‘finding moments within moments’.  Something about the way he said it made me turn around and give him 100% of my attention.  I asked him to explain what he meant and we and ended up in an elaborate conversation about ones ki (or chi).

In ‘Zen in the Martial Arts’ one thing I really took to heart, and read and re-read several times over the course of a year, was a lesson on extending your ki.  Joe Hyams explains that we have a certain amount of energy at any given time.  If you are working and are distracted you are not using all your energy toward your work and are therefore not performing at 100% of your capacity.

Recognize A True Threat

Taking a mature approach I am looking at kumite from another point of view.  I just finished reading a book called ‘Black Heroes of the Martial Arts’ and the author, Prof Ron Van Clief loves kumite and choreographed fighting.  The more he talked about it the more I questioned why I don’t like it.  Now I have to assume that I don’t like it because I don’t understand it because most people fear or hate things they don’t understand.

If I had to choose to dedicate an hour to kata or kumite I would always choose kata but because I don’t feel comfortable with kumite I think I should now dedicate a little more time and effort to it.

In ‘Zen in the Martial Arts’ Joe Hyams had the same problem as me and his Sensei order a fellow dojo mate to keep kicking Joe to the head until Joe realized that he was not in danger.  I have now decided to do the same and have asked a dojo mate to keep at it until my reaction is second nature.  I believe that the instant that kick no longer feel threatening and I am confident I can deflect and counter that kumite will change for me.  I guess we’ll have to wait and see because it hasn’t happened yet.