What Would Senpai Do: Anger Management

Dear Senpai,

I feel that as a karate student you should be able to remain calm(er) in difficult situations.  Yet every time I’m at work that goes out the window, and once I leave the office I become ‘me’ again.  I’ve read about other martial artists who have had this problem but with different triggers, thus I’m asking:  how do you deal with this?

I just received an email from a co-worker that used language that, while I’m sure they think is “normal” in our industry to use, and they may even see it as a tool to get things done faster, outside of this office would be totally unacceptable.  I am fighting the urge to become very angry and am trying to find the best means of handling this where I can still feel good about myself at the end of the day.

Senpai, how do you stay calm when your first instinct is anger and frustration?  How do you find the line between being peaceful and strong vs. too timid and taken advantage of?

 

Sincerely,

-Alisa

 

http://www.etobicokekarate.com

 

 

Dojo Kun: Continue to Train with Patience and Steadiness

In all things karate there is always a deeper meaning to what is done and written.  The same can be said for dojo kuns (dojo oaths).  Just as every kata you learn, dojo kuns mean one thing to you when you first learn them, and they slowly take on a new meaning as your progress in your studies.  Your interpretations change and your understanding is greater; when you get to the heart of it you as a person are different so what you take from teachings must also be different.

From green to blue belt I was able to help with the children’s classes two times a week.  At this time I interpreted our dojo kun line ‘continue to train with patience and steadiness’ to mean ‘don’t quit, don’t lose hope’.  I saw kids get frustrated if they were not learning to kick fast enough when they needed to focus on their punches first, if they were not moving up in rank or who wanted to learn the next kata before they were ready.  In each of these cases I saw someone who didn’t understand the ‘process and not product’ way of karate (see post Process not Product).  After those experiences this line seemed necessary and I thought that was all it meant.  Now I see it means so much more.  Those children who stuck through were highly proficient in all their katas and techniques because of it rather than having had learned them sooner and be average in all of them.

Mind Over Body ?

It is hard to watch videos of men pulling planes with their teeth and not believe that there is a certain amount of power that humans possess when they set their mind on a goal.

Recently, I was told that I may have to do 50 push-ups for a grading.  My eyes bulged out of my head!  I’ve been at it ever since and every time I get down there I fail to reach 40 let alone 50.  I told my best friend about my anxiousness and he said me that it is in my mind…  In my mind.  When he said this it brought up a battle between the mind and the body and being that this is a blog about my daily three battles I had to write it down.

Lately, I have moved away from focusing on ‘spirit’ in favor of focusing on the ‘body’ so  push-ups are completely applicable.  50 push-ups!  I give myself a good pep talk each time before I start.  I put on some good music and when I get down there I think to myself: “this is the time that you’re going to break through”.  I actually have to laugh at the whole thing after when I fail, once again.  As much as I believe that we as humans can do anything if we really, truly believe we can, every time I push myself back up for the 20^th time I feel like my arms are going to collapse on the way down for the next one.  So now I have to ask myself, is it that my body is too weak to do the  push-ups or that my mind is too weak to get me there?  How do you know when it’s your mind and when it’s your body?

I am definitely not qualified enough to know the answer to this but I’m putting it out there in case someone has an answer, and so later I can look back and answer myself.